Justin Bieber中文网论坛

 找回密码
 立即注册

QQ登录

只需一步,快速开始

用新浪微博连接

一步搞定

总共37252条微博

动态微博

查看: 537|回复: 7
打印 上一主题 下一主题

不为人知的比宝效应

[复制链接]
跳转到指定楼层
楼主
guy 发表于 2011-2-1 19:37:15 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |倒序浏览 |阅读模式
These words have not found you easily – they have prevailed against the highest form of censorship created by our enemy. This is the tale of how Justin Bieber came close to conquering the world.

At first, it wasn’t a big deal. Bieber appeared to be a pop-up celeb, seemingly destined to be obscure once people moved on or his balls dropped.

At the time, I was living in Los Angeles, the heart of starry celebs. I was a paparazzo, scrounging for a living through photographs of Taylor Swift jogging and Emile Hirsch picking up gay men.

In my line of business, we can gauge a celebrity’s popularity by how much we sell a photo for. Bieber started small – $1,000 for a pic of the kid doing something interesting. But soon it climbed higher and higher. We should've known things would be bad when the market would pay $200,000 for a picture of Justin Bieber being cradled by Britney Spears.

Suddenly our news waves were filled with videos of Justin Bieber crashing into glass doors and articles about how he gets his hair so perfectly swooped.

Then came the moment of no return. Paul McCartney, on that stage at the Greek, declared to the world that he believed Justin Bieber was the greatest musician in all of history. Paul had Bieber fever.

The first chapter of the Holy Church of Bieber opened on Sunset Blvd. in Los Angeles. It was a smashing success with 5,000 people in attendance each week. Squealing girls lined up at the doors, hoping they might see Lil Biebs. The church leader, Madam Grace, said she spoke with Bieber and interpreted his will.

We all thought this was crazy until one Sunday Madam Grace stood on the balcony of Bieber’s cathedral and announced, “I have spoken to Lil Biebs. It is upon us to spread the good word of Bieber, and silence our critics.”

The last part of her decree started the first murders. At first, due to the bad press, the church distanced itself from the fanatics. It couldn’t afford to have its image tarnished as Bieber churches opened across the country. After all, these centers became lucrative ventures.

It was when the third Bieber church opened in India, the establishment knew they could wield a sword to protect their interests. Justin Bieber met with the government officials of Kenya to offer a stern warning that their non-believers would be punished.

The U.S. government tried to frown upon this religious extremism, but the South was rich with Bieber fever. Sarah Palin said it would be unpatriotic to stop his efforts for Global peace; Glenn Beck told a story of how the founding fathers wanted our performing artists to have the freedom to spread their music with violence – his chalkboard covered with phrases like “Obama = No Bieber” and “Terrorists Fear Bieber.”
When Kenya caved in and declared the national religion to be Bieberism, other countries feared their own punishment.

Armies of teen girls stormed the shores of the world’s continents. They wielded heavy purses, and they were surprisingly fast in flip-flops. When grown men heard the battle cry of a high-pitched scream, they would wet their pants and cry for their mothers. In Spain, it was no longer the running of the bulls. It was the running of the Crocs.

Things were getting ridiculous. Madam Grace, while in the presence of Bieber, could swear he said, “I want you to get me all the Jews.” But it was clarified that he was thirsty and wanted some juice.

Elders throughout the world decided that the best plan of action to stop the crusades would be to stop his power at the source: teen girls. People skipped having children in fear that they would have a girl. The rich had scientists guarantee they would have sons他们宁愿自己的孩子是男孩儿But there were too many teen girls. My own daughter ruled our household. I tried to get her to do her homework one evening. That’s when officials from the Church showed up at my door. They roughed me up; told me I was a non-believer and that could mean death. I was scared.我正阻止我的女儿看jb的视频而让她去写作业时,门外忽然有组织出现在门口,他们说这样做代表我是反对宝的,并且这有可能意味着死亡。因为宝的粉丝太多了
As I sat in my living room, wearing a pink shirt with Bieber’s grinning face, I wondered if I should take my own life. It would be more peaceful.

That’s when the news anchor said the greatest words I had ever heard. “New teen sensation, Danny Slate, will start his concert tour soon.” A new heartthrob was born?

Turns out Bieber’s voice had finally dropped. He was now 20 years old, and suddenly the chilibowl haircut wasn’t cute anymore. It was just kind of weird… Teen girls became young women. A beam of sunlight broke through the clouds of ash that had loomed over our planet. And my daughter walked in and said, “sup, Dad.” Sup, Dad! Things were getting back to normal.

The church of Bieber was closed down, and Madam Grace was put against a tribunal for war crimes.

On a brighter-than-normal June day, I stepped out of my house to do what I loved: take pictures of Lindsay Lohan putting ping pong balls up her cootch at some bar. Life was beautiful.

文章大概就是说宝太红了,以至于给某些家庭造成了困扰———女孩子太疯狂,她们都患上了bieberfever。


分享到:  QQ好友和群QQ好友和群 QQ空间QQ空间 腾讯微博腾讯微博 腾讯朋友腾讯朋友
收藏收藏 分享分享 顶 踩 转发到微博
沙发
丶bieber. 发表于 2011-2-1 20:04:48 | 只看该作者
看起来很恐怖 = =

    我觉得我也患上了bieberfever~    不过还不至于那么疯狂
板凳
Beveryt 发表于 2011-2-1 20:47:13 | 只看该作者
...................比伯效应
下水道
Eve530 发表于 2011-2-1 21:28:44 | 只看该作者
哈哈,喜欢归喜欢,不要让家里人担心就好了。
5
真实不真实 发表于 2011-2-1 22:31:33 | 只看该作者
我们都似!
6
施可儿 发表于 2011-2-1 22:44:41 | 只看该作者
我们都是bieber fever,哦耶。
7
love_justinbaby 发表于 2011-2-1 22:49:18 | 只看该作者
yes..

我得了很嚴重的Bieber Fever..~  >口<
8
Juliet-Bieber 发表于 2011-2-1 22:53:36 | 只看该作者
好像在说我耶~~~不过我是写完作业才看宝的~~从8点多看到12点。
您需要登录后才可以回帖 登录 | 立即注册

本版积分规则

Archiver|Justin Bieber中文网

GMT+8, 2025-7-3 15:20 , Processed in 15.132117 second(s), 29 queries , Gzip On.

Powered by Discuz! X3.2

© 2001-2013 Comsenz Inc.

快速回复 返回顶部 返回列表